squished things

That's a jazzed-up cockroach.

A couple years ago, I made a point of photographing squished things in the streets of Bangkok. Not a difficult task.

My girlfriend tells me she was in a taxi when the driver pointed to a farang: "That farang is ba (crazy). He rides a unicycle and takes photographs of dead of animals." She didn't bother to inform him that the farang in question was me, her boyfriend!

These creatures are caught, frozen, in pretty much the position they were in a millisecond before they met their fates.

For more immortalized critters (and a banana!), check it out: http://s219.photobucket.com/albums/cc143/ngong/squished/?action=view&current=3605f7e7.pbw

Lad Prao Road, Sunday Afternoon

lad prao road


Here's a mile or two of Lad Prao Road in Bangkok on a Sunday morning, 2006.

In case you're wondering how the animation was done, it was like this:

1) Make stills of every frame of the video. There's shareware for that.
2) Alter the stills as you wish with Photoshop. You can automate that, so it's not as if you're manually editing 3,000 .jpg files.
3) Reassemble the new .jpg images into a video. Again, there's shareware for that.

You can alter ordinary video in some interesting ways in a single step with Premiere Pro and other video editing programs. In this case, Premiere Pro didn't give me the result I was after, so I opted for a more laborious approach.

Increased Happiness for Trekkers

It occurs to me that a couple of my experiences in the Himalayas could be of benefit to a handful of people who might actually plug the proper keywords into a search engine. So here's today's meager contribution to world happiness:

I've had Achilles tendonitis for a number of years. Not a huge deal...at worst it forces me to hobble, and to refrain from high-impact sports for fear of exacerbating the problem. Most of the time it goes unnoticed. When considering a jaunt into the Himalayas last year, the Achilles was my biggest worry. You don't want the tendonitis to flare up when you're a week's trek away from any transportation.

I'm happy to report that the Achilles was a total non-factor in two weeks of fairly intense trekking. I even wonder if the trekking was somehow therapeutic...a year after the trek, the tendonitis seems less problematic than ever. Some non-medical advice based on one guy's experience: don't let a mild case of Achilles tendonitis inhibit a Himalayan adventure.

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About 15 years ago I busted up my knee in a motorcycle accident. The PCL and ACL ligaments were severed, and the MCL torn. Surgery ensued. A year later, I was back in the Himalayas. Favoring my weak knee, I quickly incurred a fairly nasty case of "trekker's knee" in the strong knee. Worse than the pain was the frustration and humiliation of having to hobble through this amazing region. After three weeks in this state, I stumbled into a clinic located just a day's trek from Everest itself. The doctor, a Westerner, supplied me with ibuprofen for the inflamed joint.

I want to report that the result of taking this commonplace, over-the-counter drug was downright miraculous: within 30 minutes, I was walking normally, with only a dull reminder of the pain that had been stifling me for weeks. World-happiness-enhancing advice #2: bring plenty of ibuprofen along for any extended trek. Even if you're fairly confident in the ability of your knees to endure a pounding, you'll probably run into other folks who have a clear case of trekker's knee.

I can recall one case where I offered up the drug to some gimpy dude who had wrapped a t-shirt around his bum knee. Perhaps my enthusiasm for the miracle-inducing powers of ibuprofen was too intense, though, since he shunned me like a smack dealer ("I don't do that"), and hobbled away to another two weeks of pained trekking.

Of course, avoiding trekker's knee would be preferable to dependance on any drug, no matter how innocuous. The obvious advice would be to enter the trek with well-prepared knees. Less obvious is the following: take it easy on the downward slopes, particularly on the early stages of the trek. There's no need to rapidly bound from stone to stone, incurring repeated impacts to the joints, even if gravity seems to be on your side. If you have a history of weakness/injury in one knee, try to be mindful of whether you're favoring the stronger leg or not.

In terms of preparation, there are a lot of suggestions on the web. My own wisdom, for what it's worth, is to mimic trekking as closely as possible. If your preparation is restricted to the fitness club, don't assume that the stairclimber approximates the real thing. You'll be taking big steps in the mountains, stressing your gluteus maximus far more than you do on the stairclimber. You'll probably find that the cycling machines, set with high resistance and a low seat, do a much better job of stressing your glutes.

Your knees will take a pounding in the mountains. Question is, will a pre-pounding help "innoculate" them from various maladies (e.g. trekker's knee), or are you better off sticking with low-impact routines in the fitness club? I'm not sure about the medical literature, but there does seem to be anecdotal evidence that a pre-pounding might be worthwhile. In that case, don't avoid the treadmill. You want to give your knees repeated jolts, something they won't get on the stairclimber or cycling machines. The problem there, or course, is that you could injure your joints. With that in mind, you could begin to lay off the really heavy impact routines as your flight to Kathmandu draws nearer.

Recollection from a Tongba Bar

Something like 2,000 people have summitted Mt. Everest, with 200 or so deaths. It would be interesting to know how many of the survivors have lost parts of fingers, toes, ears, and noses along the way¹.

The typical modern Everest climber has got enough money to pay the government for the necessary permits, and an agency to supply Sherpas and equipment. Depending on the arrangement, the cost could go as high as $100,000 for one shot at the summit.

Certainly, the experience is a huge challenge, and anyone who pulls it off is worthy of some respect. On the other hand, there are any number of summits that offer greater tests of athleticism, technique, perspicacity, and courage. Annapurna boasts a 50% death rate, and K2 isn't far behind. So one has got to suspect that, for many, the urge to conquer Everest derives partially from a need to acquire bragging rights, write a book, or present a slide show at the Rotary Club².

Anticipating a future jaunt up Mera Peak, not far from Everest, I recollect a tongba bar in Kathmandu in 1995. The memory is rough, but there might have been four rickety tables, with peeling veneers, and a fat old Tibetan woman preparing the drink. Unlike the pic in Wikipedia, the tongba would be served in plastic buckets. There were only a handful of folks in the joint, but one of them was Ang Rita Sherpa. He was a bit of a celebrity, as he held the world record for most Everest summits at that time. Impressively, none of the summits required supplemental oxygen. My gurung friend Shyambu translated his words for me, and it seems that Ang Rita, national hero, was being stiffed out of a promised pension for Nepali national heroes. I'd guess that the stiffing somehow related to the ever-changing political landscape in Nepal. The guy appeared aged, but he was 47 years old at the time, dousing his woes.

Perhaps the guy finally got his pension. But I find the contrast between Ang Rita and the Rotary Club PowerPoint heroes to be conspicuous.

By the way, Tongba is unique and tasty. The fermentation goes on inside millet seeds. After the appropriate period of fermentation, you put the seeds in a container (usually the aforementioned plastic bucket), pour hot water into the container, and drink the brew through a bamboo straw that filters out all the seeds. The alcohol content is low (3%?), but you can get plenty pissed when you imbibe from a bucket, ordering refills as necessary.

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1. Searching "climbing boots" on E-bay, I found one entry for "Millet Everest" boots offering the following enticement for dishing out the $300 bid: You'll keep your toes.

2. Here's a website that specializes, apparently, in hooking your organization up with an "Everest Speaker": http://www.everestspeakersbureau.com/ !

Thai Kanom

Here's a four minute video wherein Thai teenagers are asked, "what is your favorite Thai kanom?" In case you're not aware, "kanom" would be the Thai word for "dessert". Following the response, you see the kanom in question.

Frequenters of Thai restaurants in the West are probably unaware of the huge variety of native Thai desserts. At best, you'll get coconut ice cream, fried bananas, or lychees in syrup. But in Thailand, you'll find large shops devoted entirely to these treats. A favorite location would be between Bangkok and some nearby vacation spot...don't you dare return home to your sweetheart or family empty-handed.

In all honesty, the visual usually eclipses the gustatory. Most kanom are based on coconut and sugar, and this becomes repetitive. Even the ice cream is based on coconut milk. My fave would be "mor gaeng", but that's because it reminds me of a poor man's creme caramel.

Hong Kong Cigarette Packs

Earlier, I blogged on the, uh, imagery of Thai cigarette packs. It seems that Hong Kong packs have entered the fray. So, while the Thais can never have their pioneering status shanghai-ed, they do have competition.

Below...Smoke cigarettes and develop the complexion of a Tibetan goat herder. A particularly horrifying prospect for Hong Kong and Bangkok dwellers.

Things People Don't Say

*This photo is an accurate depiction of my true self.

*It has a beautiful flavor.

*Why don't I have naval lint today?

*In this campaign, we're strong believers in the power of polls.

*The stock doubled overnight on takeover news. Why weren't the insiders buying?

*Don't eat this herb before sex.

*I put two pairs of socks in the wash, and three came out.

*I'm just an actor. Why are you asking me all these political questions?

*This sunset looks like a bad watercolor.

*I'm still waiting to get born again.

*That mosquito I just killed...I wonder what it was doing at this time last week.

*By comparing performances against the same opponents, I've concluded there's a 78% probability I'll get knocked out by the fourth round.

*I used to think I was spiritually enlightened. But it was just arrogance.

*I just can't seem to get this shit smell off my hands.

*Hell, if I were 8 inches shorter, I couldn't have made a high school team, let alone a professional one.

*The doctor gave him six months to live, but he died in four.

*In the next gallery, you'll see some of the finest examples of pre-cubist art.

*I'd drop belief in a biblical creation in a second if there were evidence otherwise.

*The power went out at 4:00. Fortunately, I saved all my work at 3:59.

*The enemy claims that they're not targeting civilians. Actually, it's true.

*Yes, I used to take steroids. Now I'm clean, and you can test me anytime.

*This tsunami is god's punishment for, for...well, I'm not sure what it's for.